John Corson's Blog

for December 21, 2021


With the exception of Friday Evening's Christmas Eve Service, I am done for two weeks and am on vacation! No worries about attendances, who performs duties or what things need to be done while I am out, no worries about money, offerings or petty little stuff that goes on in the "drama" department; nothing! I am so glad Christmas vacation will afford me the great opportunity to clear my mind and to spend time with my entire family.

Today I spent about three and a half hours in the office, fixing up another network snafu between all four of the church's computers. It seems that on Windows 11 computers which is everyone but mine in my office, that every time they have an update (which seems to be three or four times a week) that the network settings get messed up and I have to go in and repair them. I think that for the time being I should turn off the automatic updates. One reboot after updating and the network communications between the computers goes haywire.

I got a little bit of left over work done, went to the bank to make a deposit, drove over to my HVAC man's office to complain about a bill with $900 worth of labor for two men at 2 and a half hours, and came home. As for the HVAC bill, good old Chris Darley took my bill and said don't pay it; that he was going to check into it and said it didn't look right, so ... hold on until after Christmas and we will send you a modified statement.

Janice got her car back. There was no engine damage from the oil leak. In fact, the plug on the oil pan didn't come off, but it was loose and about to. She lost all but about a half quart and that was enough to spare the rods, so to speak. The serviceman put a new filter on and put 5 quarts of oil in the pan and, as an added bonus for all the trouble, they washed, detailed and vacuumed the inside of the car! Needless to say, Janice is a happy camper.

My car comes back from the body shop tomorrow. Finally! After two and a half weeks of driving other people's vehicles, I get mine back. It took nine weeks total to get it into the shop and then all the damage repaired. I still cannot get over the fact that such a little ding, as it looked like from a glance, could cost so much to repair. Total cost is just over $2100.00.

Just to catch up from yesterday evening after posting yesterday's blog, I did go out to the garden. It was after 10pm as Janice did not have to go to work today and she stayed up later than usual last night. I was out there for about thirty-five minutes and that time, the tears flowed like a leaky dam. I talk to my two dogs like they are sitting in front of me looking at me while I speak. The things I talk about are usually about how things were when they were with me. But last night, I talked to them about some of the good points or highlights in my life at the first four churches I served. I talked about the beauty of the snow covered farm lands in the winter in Illinois. I talked about all the opportunities to see concerts, museums, zoos, places of renown and things to get involved with while living in Maryland near Baltimore and Washington, D.C. I told them about my church in South Norfolk and the great Sunday Night youth program we started while I was there and that I enjoyed Sundays with the folks there for the first two years or so. But the third church, the one I left Maryland to pastor to and for a lot more money, offered me nothing but grief. I had to find solace and friendship outside of the church and I did so through my memberships in the Masonic Lodge and the Ruritan Club. I also found friendship with the town mayor, the main grocer and the pharmacist in town. But those things were the highlights that I told my two friends about.

Who am I kidding? There I sat in 30 degree weather (at least the wind wasn't blowing) with thin clouds dotting the sky and a mostly full moon lighting the garden. I don't mind sitting there in the cold. I am bundled up with a thick wool coat and wool long sleeve shirt, flannel pants thick wool socks and my thick slippers to keep the cold out. I have my wool pull over hat and a blanket with me. Heck, I can keep warm with those items. And when the crying starts, if I put my entire energy into the crying, I actually sweat buckets.

I miss my two little furry friends. No, they are more than friends. They are my family, my sields against lonliness and the cause for millions of smiles. As I have said countless times now, Princess and Reggie were big blessings. And to lose them is to end the blessings. All that remains are the memories, the pictures and video I took and the places they have been with me. Sometimes, when walking into my home office, I think I see Princess laying there in front of my bookcases, or Reggie's lying on the two towels I still have on the floor, along with one of his two toys (the other is buried with him). Sometimes, when I get into my car I look over in the passenger seat expecting to see him getting the pad he laid on fixed for his comfort. There are times I look over in the corner of the bedroom where Princess used to sleep and think of her laying there getting ready for her night time sleep next to my bed.

Memrories. That is all that is left behind for me to cherish. That phrase that was written on the box Reggie is buried in was written by one of the people working in the veteranarian hospital where we said our goodbyes to him. It reads: "REGGIE: No longer by my side but forever in my heart." That last part is hard to believe. I have been asking myself over the last five and a half weeks how can he live in my heart when it is all but shattered over his passing? It is so fragile I can't hold the weigh of the memory.

I have to believe that he is whole again; that he can see; that he can run again; that he lives in a place where pain no longer can invade his little body. I believe that with Princess and Lady before her. It's just that this little guy infected me with a type of emotion that just won't subside. He was a genuine friend.

Well, in a little while Janice will be going to bed. She does have to get up around 3:45 in morning as she has more than a full day at the surgery center. That means I will be going out to the garden early tonight. I never know who long I will be out there. I never know if I am going to cry buckets or a little. I do see the improvements as I am no longer shaking in a form of convulsions as much - and that is good. But I still feel the very strong need to see them everyday(most after dark).

Not much else is happening. Bobby and his family will be here Thursday Evening between 6 and 8 pm. Brad's two kids are coming in the day after Christmas and they need to spend Christmas Day with their mother in Charleston, SC. They missed the last two Christmases as Brad was living in Wyoming all alone and they wanted to fly out to be with him during that most important time. It will be the first time in fourteen years that both of my boys have been together with Janice and me over Christmas. Last time, there were only two grandchildren. Now there will be five grandchildren and a step-grandchild and it will be fun. That should take my mind off of the grief, but knowing me, when they all fall asleep and it is quiet in the house, I will be thinking of Princess and Reggie. I may even go out in the middle of the night to talk with them. What will be worse is January 1st, when everybody is gone and there will be just me and Janice. I don't have to be back at church until Thursday, January 6th. Those five days will afford me nothing but quiet - except for the moan and cries of the pain of not celebrating Christmas in the presence of my "little girl" and my "little buddy."

Janice just told me that it is time to take the trash out and do some cleaning around the house. Heck, I think her pet name should be "The Cleaning Queen."

Blog for December 20 Blog for December 22


Blogs are about the blogger. It's as if he or she merely toots their own horns about the things they do, say and love.

My life is boring. I read, I watch Glenn Beck and Mark Levin. I listen to Andrew Wilkow. I engage in some conversation with those who are willing to listen (they being masochistic and enjoy killing themselves with my banter).

I plan on just laying out the things that bother me and the things I love. Nothing in-between. I hope you find whatever I put here amusing.