John Corson's Blog

WRITING & RANTING
for June 2, 2021

BEING BUMMED OUT

What is it like to be "bummed out"? I am not even sure if you spell it bum or bumb. I know a bum is the British slang for Posterior or one's buttocks. I also know that bumb is more of a slang or urban form of the word bum.

Oh well, either way I think I'm just bummed out. The dictionary definition of being bummed out is "To sadden one or cause one to feel disappointed.

It also can mean "To annoy" or "to do something badly" or even to have an unpleasant experience with a bad drug.

For me, it means all of the above, with the exception of the bad drug thing. I don't do drugs, except for the heart meds I am prescribed to take. They don't bum me out!

I am really over being discouraged and sadden over the state of affairs in which we all find ourselves. The Democrats are champions of bumming Americans out; true Americans that is; not a group of Marxist indoctrinated child-adults having grown up in an institution that never teaches patriotism and civics, but only the principals of equity, social justice, wokism and anti-racism.

What our children are learning today in the government indoctrination camps called "public schools." is unconscionable. I am so glad my oldest son has put his children into Liberty Christian Academy's online programs so that they can be "homeschooled" with a guided curriculum that teaches civics, reading, writing, math, science and real history.

I am more than sure that the far LEFT is researching ways to shut down homeschooling by outlawing, then criminalizing, it. Then, to follow shut, would shut down Christian schools and academies that do no toe the line of social justice and wokism. That is the way the far-LEFT thinks. If they can force you to learn what they teach, they will shut you down! If that is not a bummer, nothing is.

I do not know why I am going on about this, but I did not wake up this morning is such a mood. When I got up and went downstairs, I was in a pretty pleasant spirit. I took my vitamin supplements, and my meds, gathered up Reggie for a little ride to my doctor's office where I dropped off a sample for a look under a microscope for any abnormalities. I stopped off at Chic-Fil-A for a chicken biscuit, then Starbucks for an iced white mocha; then back to the house. Reggie got his pup cup of whipped creams from Starbucks and then, after getting home, he ate a little. I finished by biscuit and, with a little time to spare, I decided to watch an episode from the eighth and final season of Barney Miller. I was alright through most of the show, but in this one, Barney was toying around with the idea of cancelling an interview for the position of Deputy Inspector. He was up for that promotion before - once when the show actually premiered back in the Winter of 1975.  He said he was up that and two other times and in each case he was passed over. That got my mind to wandering. Just how many times have I been passed over for promotion or a move "up the ladder" or a call to a bigger or more stable church? Lots and lots and lots of time.

I have always suffered from a condition I call, "They think I am not good enough" syndrome. Every time I watch a show, see or read about a heroine being passed over for a much deserved recognition or promotion, I completely identify with the character. So, I get bummed out.

Now don't get me wrong. I again re-iterate, as I have done a number of times in past blogs, I am not depressed! I am just disappointed and sometimes I am in deep despair. That means I don't have any idea of how to escape the dullness and failures of the moment. It does hit me a lot. But, like my mom, I just keep plugging along. Deep down in my psyche I feel and believe that I will get through the mental anguish.

I think the one bad habit I have in dealing with disappointment and despair is the addiction of looking back. Yes, looking back is an addiction. I keep yearning for the good ole days gone by. I have spoken of my longing for the early 80's when Reagan was President, I was living in Maryland, my family was very young and in tact. I have talked fondly of my radio days, sitting in a studio, playing the music I love and doing audio production - putting commercials and advertisements together, mixing and splicing tape, then later editing audio via software. I have also spoken of my children when they were young, the pets who graced my life and the fabulous dining establishments I frequented.

Remembering the past puts a smile on my face and a peace in my heart. But it also creates the anxiety of knowing that I shall never be able to go back.

But I move on. It's just that trap many people over 60 and who are living through the empty nest syndrome fall prey to. It is called "backing into the future while looking forward to the past." It's my dilemma; it's my cross to bear; it's my life.

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Blogging

Blogs are about the blogger. It's as if he or she merely toots their own horns about the things they do, say and love.

My life is boring. I read, I watch Glenn Beck and Mark Levin. I listen to Andrew Wilkow. I engage in some conversation with those who are willing to listen (they being masochistic and enjoy killing themselves with my banter).

I plan on just laying out the things that bother me and the things I love. Nothing in-between. I hope you find whatever I put here amusing.