John Corson's Blog

for October 1, 2021


It has been nearly a year since I wrote about my dog's near death experience with whatever sickness he had. That Reggie didn't eat or drink water for nearly three days was so scary and at 14 years of age, it was more than enough to do him in. Yet he hung on and by prayer with God and through enough tears shed in front of Reggie, it was as if his determination to stay on the job and be with me won the day. It was October 7th and I noticed first that he couldn't stop drinking water and throwing it all back up again, then the next day he didn't eat or drink. By the 9th, he wouldn't move off of his bed. I even slept in the floor next to him for two nights. Then, Dr. Smith, the fill-in veterinarian for Reggie's regular Doctor, prescribed a liquid that was supposed to make him want to eat. It worked! Within three hours, Reggie's was up and at it, ready to eat.

I have always thought that he just got that determination in him to stick around because he knew I couldn't make it if he were to pass away. Well, I can't keep asking this very elderly dog to keep doing this. Now, 7 years older - IN DOG YEARS, his will to fight has got to have diminished.

Once again, Reggie is not eating. He couldn't sleep last night, as he kept going around in circles on top of our king sized bed. Over and over and over again. He would lay down after doing twenty or so circles and within ten seconds or less, he was back up doing circles. This went on for close to two hours. We would talk to him and pet him and held on to him, but he was so uncomfortable. He has been shaking as if he were stuffed in a freezer, but it is not cold in this house and he still shakes if I threw a blanket over him. Usually, when a dog shivers and it is not cold or wet that is a sign that he is in pain. Panting is also a sign, but he is not doing any of that. We have some pain medicine from last year that is not expired and I gave him a small pill last night. Three hours later and after trying to get him to settle down from doing the circles we have him some liquid gabapentin that we also had left over and was not expired. We put him on a soft pallet in the floor next to the bed, boxed him with cardboard of either end and up between the wall and our bed on the sides and kept him there all night.

He was still restless for about an hour and then, just like that, he went down and slept like a rock. The gabapentin helped him to sleep. Well we have had a rough day with him today. He has eaten one peanut butter cracker and that is it! Oh, and he has eaten three little "goodies" that I usually give him as a reward or when I get ready to leave him in the house by himself for a few hours. He won't eat any of his regular food, no hamburger, no French fries, no chicken, no chicken and rice soup, no cooked ground chuck, none of his regular dog food, NOTHING. He is drinking water and he pooped this afternoon and is peeing regularly. But how long will that go on if he doesn't eat is anyone's guess. It's like: "Here we go again!"

But this time it is different. While sitting in my chair in my office this morning and doing some internet reading, I was holding him. I would stop to talk with him and we were listening to some of that soft piano music I usually play when I talk with my late Princess, and I started to cry. It got really hard as I felt the emotions coming to a head. When I gained my composure a little, I spoke into Reggie's little ear and told him that I was not going to ask him this time to fight for me. That is was unfair to do that to him again. He has earned his right to be free from pain and old age. If he wants to rest, then he can.

It takes a lot out of me, the seriously sensitive type, to tell that to someone, or something I love so dearly. That I was being selfish last year when I cried over top of him, pleading that he hold on and fight because I couldn't stand the thought of loosing him. I would have to be one selfish bastard to do that again. Loving someone, even if he is a dog, means to let go when the time comes so that the loved one can be free from misery, pain and suffering. That it is only the right thing to do to suffer a little in their place by going through the grief process while they play at the Rainbow Bridge.

I had to do a few chores today. I had to pick up a prescription from the hospital pharmacy where I get this particular one for free, then make a deposit at the bank, pick up some food for Janice and me for lunch, and then later cut the front and back yards. Since that time, Janice and I have been sitting with Reggie and trying to get him to eat a little. I have to go to another pharmacy now to pick up another script for Janice whose doctor called it in for her allergies. When I return, I plan on spending the evening with my best friend, so I am ending this post and doing what I determined should be done.

I sure hope I will have better things to write about tomorrow.

Blog for September 30 Blog for October 2


Blogs are about the blogger. It's as if he or she merely toots their own horns about the things they do, say and love.

My life is boring. I read, I watch Glenn Beck and Mark Levin. I listen to Andrew Wilkow. I engage in some conversation with those who are willing to listen (they being masochistic and enjoy killing themselves with my banter).

I plan on just laying out the things that bother me and the things I love. Nothing in-between. I hope you find whatever I put here amusing.